I didn’t want to do this, but I realize I must. I have to share a little bit about my story, why I was broken hearted. For my own sake. I have to write this and If you don’t wan’t to listen, just skip this post, I don’t mind. But it’s important to me to get it out of my system…. Everyone who has followed me realize I have been hurt and have trouble dealing with it and to meet someone new. Now I have actually got some phone numbers, and want to open up again.
I met my big love as 13 years old, although I didn’t know he would become my big love back then. He was calm and always nice to me, since we lived very close to each other. We went to same school and became very good friends. When we graduated we remained friends and got even closer. We began realizing we might could become more than friends, because we started to get emotions. Of course, this wasn’t something we talked about, we just knew we should be together. But then it happened. He met someone. Of course we had dated separately, but since we knew we belonged together neither one of us took it seriously. Until she came around and got pregnant! Of course he couldn’t leave her. And after a baby girl was born, they married.
This is why I’m identifying so much with the song “Dancing, Though”, because my heart was really bleeding when they got married. Of course, I didn’t go to the wedding, I could barely speak with him. I realized I was foolish, because we never made any promises to each other, but in my heart I knew we belonged together. So I felt betrayed, but I could never say this to him because I had no right to.
But I think I’m ready to get over this. Especially after writing this, since I understand how ridiculously this sounds. He never betrayed me, in fact he wanted us to still remain friends, which I naturally never could.
I’m going to get over this. I know I have too. Love / life is almost like a game of poker. Like this quote:
“Life is just a big game of Texas hold’em, unexpected things may arise that may suite you or destroy you. You gotta make the best of the cards your dealt, adjust accordingly, and always understand that you control your decisions.”
― Mustafa Said
I have no idea what the future will bring me. Perhaps we’ll end up together or perhaps I have to accept the unexpected, that we never made it. Well, for now I have a few calls to make to the guys I meet recently. So I’m trying to move on and will keep you updated on this.
Here is the song “Dancing Though” once more, which have had a huge importance to me. I listened to it so much, trying to get over the fact the were getting married and I think it actually helped a bit, knowing that others can feel the same way. Hope you like it too: